Still recall my name.

I never meant to wither
I wanted to be tall
Like a fool, left the river
And watched my branches fall.
Old and thirsty, i longed for the flood
To come back around
To the cactus in the valley,
That's about to crumble down
And wipe the mark of sadness from my face
Show me that your love will never change
If my yesterday is a disgrace
Show me that you still recall my name.
So the storm finally found me and left me in the dark
In the cloud around me, i don't know where you are
If this old world goes up in arms, all i can do is
stand
And i wont fight for anyone until you move my hands.
And wipe the mark of madness from my face
Show me that your love will never change
If my yesterday is a disgrace,
Tell me that you still recall my name.
Oh here, in this shadow;
Here i am
And i need someone by my side.
It becomes so
Hard to stand
And i keep trying to dry my eyes.
Come and find me
In the valley.
And Wipe the mark of sadness from my face,
show me that your love will never change.
And if my yesterday is a disgrace,
Tell me that you still recall my name.
And wipe the mark of madness from my face
Show me that your love will never change.
And if my yesterday is a disgrace
Tell me that you'll still recall my name.

-Cactus in the Valley- LIGHTS

Something about this song brings figurative tears to my eyes. Especially the acoustic version. Whether this song had intentions of being written from a Christian perspective or not is unknown to me but so much about it brings security and reassurance that my God is with me no matter what I do or what anybody else does.

I guess the reason I posted this is because God can speak through so many things and I believe that this song is one of them.

I'm also really obsessed with this song at the moment. 

Here's the studio acoustic version of the song. I hope it speaks to you to.

Awesome God

"He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy;
He will crush the oppressor.
He will endure as long as the sun, as long as the moon through all generations.
He will be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth. 
...He will rule from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth."
Psalm 72:4-6, 8


I read my Bible. I'm trying to read the Old and New Testament all the way through parallel to each other. I'm currently in the Psalms in the OT.
I came across Psalm 72 and was thinking in my head, "Wow. God's pretty amazing. God's SO amazing." And then I thought again.
"Why did I forget that?"
It's odd how we can forget God's awesomeness so quickly and so often. I mean, this is our God.
The victorious, living, reigning Power over all creation. He's got the victory, the glory, the power, the love and He has saved us from the "unbeatable:" Death. How is it that we forget all this?
Why do I forget my awesome God?

Well, there are reasons. Not good reasons, but reasons. Life steps in.

Life always has to step in, doesn't it? "Totally livin' for JESUS! Let's start this Gospel spread!" BAM! Life.
"Full of the Holy Spirit, yeah. Gonna set the world on fire for God!" BAM! Life.
Good things happen, bad things happen, gaining money, losing money, gaining friends, losing friends, getting busy and getting lazy.
Life. It happens.
Sometimes, all we can see is life before our eyes. The bad things make you doubt God's glory. The good things make you ignore it. The boredom and business rids you of any interest in God's glory.

So then, we forget it. Do we just leave it at that? "Gods got glorii yeh. Wots it 2 do wiv me lyk? Gods got de glori so ill just get on wiv life then, yeh?"
No.
God deserves our admiration. In fact He deserves more than our admiration.
So then, how do we now remember Him?

Of course, we can do all the typical "Christian" things.
"Read the Bible, Pray..."
But, quite honestly, we should, shouldn't we?
Prayer is how God speaks to us. Not just us speaking to Him, Him speaking to us. Hearing from God Himself, can remind us of his glory whether it be through just being in His Presence or a more "direct" reply.
You read about how I remembered God's glory through God's Word. You can too. Reading verses describing God's glory over and over again will get into your head how His power can change every one of us. How His power never changes.


We can also think back to those miraculous moments when He has totally shone in power.
"I survived a dreadful accideeeeenntt...."
Being hit by a bus actually. And I didn't just survive, I was totally okay. A bit of shock and a tiny ankle graze, but I was okay.
If that wasn't God's glory then that must mean I'm actually dead.

If we truly believe that God is perfect and unchanging, then those miraculous moments should echo through eternity. God is powerful and we are not. God is perfect and we are not. God knows all and we do not.
He loves each of us infinitely, despite all our screw-ups and doubts. And how often do we forget it?
I'll be honest. I do, a lot.

Times will come when God will reveal his power again but why wait? Ask for Him now. He ain't gonna change and we can let those moments continue forever.
So let's not forget the glory. Let's keep the knowledge of His power in our hearts forever.

"Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvellous deeds.
Praise be to this glorious Name forever, may the whole earth be filled with His Glory.
Amen and Amen."
Psalm 72:18-19

Who am I?

Eliza. Simple


But who am I really?
A teenager. No, a Christian teenage girl. A Christian teenage girl who loves God, music and art. A clever girl. A strange girl.
Who's not perfect. Who can't socialise. Who can't fit in.


It's funny to imagine how others look at me. I find that often, others assume that my Christian life is perfect. They look at me and think "Wow. She's got it all sorted."
"Confident, intelligent and talented. I bet she doesn't bother with anyone else. I bet she's stuck-up."
This is so untrue.


Sure, I haven't 'backslidden' or rebelled tremendously. Yes, I am quite smart and I do have my talents. That's all good but I see so much missing in myself.

I'm rather eloquent in public speaking. It's a little scary but I enjoy it. However, as much as I can talk to people, I find it exceedingly difficult to talk with people. Most people don't realise it and it wasn't until rather recent years but I am rather shy. Only me and my Mum can really see it in it's entirety. People often see my quietness as being stuck-up or rude. Like I don't think they deserve to talk to me.
Actually, I often feel I don't deserve to talk to them because the people I can talk comfortably with often hear me spurt out some ridiculous or awful comment.

I have few "people skills." Throughout my life loneliness was always something I craved, particularly at school.
I am FLAWED. I am WEAK.
I am not worthy.


No matter how much I try or how many compliments I get, I find it hard to get over this major flaw. I see so many girls my age laughing and socialising with such ease that I often ask God,
"Why can't I be like that?"

However, in a way, that's like me slapping God across the face and shouting, "You're making me wrong! Make me better!"

My desire for time alone is a lonely feeling, but it's helping me through these years where it is so easy to be swayed by others from where God wants me. My introverted/confident nature has kept me from being anyone else but myself. Popularity was never a desire for me and I wouldn't have had it any other way.


I may feel awkward and things may seem hard but someday, perhaps years from now, I'll break out of this personality phase and start to be the confident leader and woman of God that He wants me to be.
I know that God loves me.
I know I have a purpose.
God will FORGIVE my FLAWS.
God will make me STRONG.
God doesn't need me to be worthy of anything.


Who am I?
God's servant.
That's all I need to be.